| 65. |
[16 Nov 2005|02:42pm] |
"ervis, i'm going to beat you with a fish."
"..."
"just kidding."
oh shalky, baby.
"just stroke it."
"what is this, kindergarten?"
"lmaolmaolmaolmao"
photoshop, 2005.
maturity at it's finest.
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| 64. |
[15 Nov 2005|06:33pm] |
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back up. where did all the passion go? we used to spend hours confessing our love for each other, and now it's nothing but mere seconds, if any.
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| 63. |
[13 Nov 2005|01:24am] |
yet another gross moment in my life.
the only good thing about today is that i hung out with erin &kozik for a few hours and laughed pretty hard when kozik threw the norma jean CD out the car window, neglecting the fact that there was, indeed, a highway under us, and when he said, "sandwhich makings." oh &i got to hold erin's hand because her &i are secret lovers.
but, speaking of lovers, i see my husband in 42 days! aw, it's so close &i'm really as excited as i can get. tonight him &i had an "omg, 42 days" trip and it was lovely. he's lovely. i'm really, honest to god, so in love with him.♥
i'm in a good mood right now. i hope to god it doesn't change.
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| 62. |
[11 Nov 2005|12:13am] |
hasta la vista, baby.
well, no. but casey &his brother do say i look like the terminator. ight, i'm down with that.
not much has been going on lately. i spent some time with michele yesterday attending the asian mart. i must say, they have a fine selection of foods there. for example, my favorite:
i definatly LOL'ed my way out the store after purchasing that one.
today we had no school. nor are we going to, tomorrow. ironically, i'm taking next thursday and friday off as well for my brother's gradutation from the police academy. once again, something i'm going to LOL my way out of.
i hung out with patricia tonight and for some reason, energy was exactly what we had...until we went to taco bell. after that, it all just seemed to disappear, kind of like patricia's insides. i had the luck of sitting in her kitchen watching her taking a massive shit for about fifteen whole minutes. the best part being her cat walking in, then walking out and throwing up on the floor. yes, it was really that bad. once again, another LOL moment in my life.
i'm also excited. only 44 days until i see casey. that is pretty damn close compared to what it once was. ah...this is going to be the best christmas ever. my husband coming home...♥
lataz.
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| 61. |
[07 Nov 2005|08:39pm] |
sup?
i just wanted to say sup.
my weekend wasn't that bad. omit some bad feelings and some feuds and you got yourself a fantastical ball of laughter. what?
i chillizzled with chrissy after school today and needless to say, we are the talent. oh &what?!
i'm filling out 34908234023 applications. ten to one, i won't get one job.
TEN TO ONE? casey's got me saying it now.
speaking of casey, i see him 47 days.
yay, i get to vomit now.
you won't get it.
D E T E R M I N A T I O N
alright.
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| 60. |
[01 Nov 2005|09:00pm] |
sup sup sup, i'm now a blonde, but still smarter than most people.
&other than that, i've been spending a lot of time with erin, kozik, and kozik's alter-ego, gary. oh how i love that flamboyant character. never fails to make me die.
i see casey next month. i've been dying to say that. and with that said, allow to me to express the fact that i'm nearly going to throw up from being so excited. well, no. but i am pretty ex-fucking-cited.
and yeah.
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| 59. |
[25 Oct 2005|12:42am] |
yesterday was a prime example as to why i absolutely adore my friends. the fact that we could randomly drive around, get lost, experience weird new jersey places, diner it up, and get lost again without getting sick of each other is amazing. i, normally, can't spend that much time with people without yearning to go home or something like that. i look forward to my weekends because of them.
everything else in my life is just...there. i'm not too sure what to think of anything, anymore, so i try and avoid the thinking process in general. somehow, i feel things are changing and not for the better. i'm contemplating on giving people a shock in life, just to wake them up. alaina knows what i'm talking about.
tomorrow we begin to record our radio show. meet dj ceci. huh-yeeeeaahhhhh.
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| 58. |
[23 Oct 2005|06:45pm] |
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on a lighter note: yesterday i found a rubberband that resembled a jock strap. &needless to say, i kept it.
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| 57. |
[19 Oct 2005|12:27am] |
lately a plethora of unwanted thoughts have been invading my mind to the point where it feels i may go insane. fortunatly, i've kept my breakdowns to a stable level. perhaps i'm just overworked with thoughts or maybe i'm honestly disturbed. all i know is that i haven't been at peace with the world or my mind in what seems to be ages. i can't remember the last time i've laid back in bed without a worry in the world. however, i do remember how good that felt. i should've cherished those moments with everything, and would have, had i known what my life would only become in the not so distant future.
yet, one peculiar thought that really stands out is the way people think of me. i'm not one to care about the public's opinion, but this is based only on those who know me. my friends, my family...anybody who i'm close to. i can't say this is a vibe i'm getting from them, but sometimes it feels as if they want something else. something better...a change, perhaps. i fear they're getting bored of me. it's honestly killing me. i try my hardest to be the best, but i know that's never going to happen, because there is no such thing as actual perfection. i don't know. i've been feeling quite scared lately and it's actually hurting me. i'm an emotional person, but this is quite the opposite. i've been feeling numb. i know it's going to all bottle up once again until i explode with emotions and tears, but for now, it's as if nothing is wrong.
it's that feeling that makes me wonder about what i should do with myself towards everybody. should i just continue what i'm doing and hope that everything will start to make sense or should i just isolate myself away from the world? it's hard for me to just completely wipe away the fact that i exist because i have been and probably always will be somewhat of a social person. but...what if i did?
this could probably work in two ways. either people will realize that with me gone, it actually IS better and a great opportunity to find some change in the world, or people will miss me. i know i'm not perfect, and i know i'm not the best, and i know i have flaws...plenty and many of them...but would you miss me?
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| 56. |
[16 Oct 2005|11:43pm] |
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as of right now, my life consists of nothing more than late night diner trips &mocking of other people.
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| 55. |
[08 Oct 2005|12:04pm] |
at work.
it's pretty much unproductive.
like most things in life.
last night was funny.
grass.
today should be funny too.
for i, ceci, am hanging out with the almighty kozik.
w00t w00t.
on a lovely note: casey &i celebrated our one year on wednesday.<3
AND, it was my hunks bifdizzle. HAPPY BIRFDAI. XxoXOXoxoxOOlx
yeeeeeeep.
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| 54. |
[30 Sep 2005|12:14pm] |
i steal things from jess.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you lend me $100?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler/less cool?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how AMAZING am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be and why?
28. How well do you know me?
29. How well would you LIKE to know me?
30. When's the last time you saw me?
31. Tell me something you always wanted to but couldn't.
32. Do you think I could kill someone?
33. will you put this in your lj and see what I say about you?
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| 53. |
[26 Sep 2005|07:01pm] |
i'm so scene, i got a ticket today for parking on the wrong side of the road. word.
&my face is pretty creepy.
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| 52. |
[25 Sep 2005|10:29pm] |
a polaroid pose: best dream EVER
a polaroid pose: i fought off the dragon with MAC roflroflroflrofl
HARD on shadow: you're sick.
a polaroid pose: though i wish i had come at a different time rofl
HARD on shadow: WHAT
a polaroid pose: AHAHAHAHAFRE*SF
a polaroid pose: IT*!
a polaroid pose: ROFLROFLROFLROFL
a polaroid pose: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HARD on shadow: OH, ROTF
HARD on shadow: I WAS LIKE
a polaroid pose: yeah that's a freudian slip right there
HARD on shadow: "......................................."
a polaroid pose: LMFAO
a polaroid pose: though i...
a polaroid pose: wow
a polaroid pose: roflroflrofl
a polaroid pose: god i'm on crack
JUST WOW.
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| 51. |
[22 Sep 2005|08:04pm] |
emptiness is lonliness, and lonliness is cleanliness and cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me. intoxicated with the madness, i'm in love with my sadness. bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms, the fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth. i never let on that i was a sinking ship. i never let on that i was down.
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| 50. |
[21 Sep 2005|05:09pm] |
WHATS YOUR NAME? sarah ceci
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? i don't have one.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? it's so drawn on, i can't even tell anymore.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i am in love.
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: CANDYLAND
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: don't read 'em.
FAVORITE SMELLS: casey, casey's deodorant, casey's cologne
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: feeling inadequate
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: being loved
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: don't have one
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN WAKE UP? gotta pee
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? not all of the time
ROLLER COASTERS-SCARY OR EXCITING? not my thing..
PEN OR PENCIL? depends on what i'm doing
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? around two
FUTURE SON'S NAME: jake
FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: audrey
FAVORITE FOODS: diner food
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? depends on my mood
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: cookie dough
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: bacon bits
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: meh, it's not something i thoroughly enjoy
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? sometimes
FOOD OR SLEEP: sleep
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: amazing
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: 97 pontiac grand am
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? mark wallbergh
FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: water
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? cancer
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? sure
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? not sure
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? i'm fine with this
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? pictures, a poster, writing &drawings
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half empty
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? lemon
FAVORITE MOVIE(S)? too many
ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? ambidextrous, but i usually use my right
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? another bed
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 2,4, or 8
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? hmm
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: meh, i like football parties
Where is your favorite place to shop? wherever has something nice
Do you think your fashion is cool? it's alright
Do you have anything pierced? three in my left ear, seven in my right, retired lip &tongue
If not, what do you want pierced?: nothing anymore
Do you have a tattoo?: none yet
Do you do drugs?: no
Do you smoke?: not anymore
What kind of Shampoo/Conditioner do you use? paul mitchelle
What sport(s) do you play?: bowling, used to play soccer
What are you most scared of?: losing casey, dying
How many phones do you have in your house?: three
How many TV*s do you have in your house?: four
Do you have your own line?: no
Who is the last person who called you?: casey
Where do you want to get married?: wildwood, on the beach
Who are your cutest guy/girl friends? they're all so cute
Who do you really hate? don't make me say this
Do you have an inie or outy (bellybutton)? innie
Have you ever broken a bone? yep
Have you ever broken someone else's bone? i nearly broke casey's face once
When looking for a nice guy? i never looked. if i started liking a guy, it was based on his personality, how he treated me, and if we have anything in common. that's how it was with casey.
Now that we are talking about looks... What is your favorite part of a guys body? maybe i'm old fashioned, but i don't care about looks. but, i love casey's eyes, his body, and his cute ass.
Is Personality important? it's the only thing that matters to me
Was this survey fun? no
i'm trying so hard.
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| 49. |
[15 Sep 2005|04:06pm] |
SMILE!
WHAT'S THAT?!
i seriously have the coolest cat eva.
satan♥
tonight i am seeing the rolling stones with my mother. i'm not that excited, but whatever. she seems really excited to be going with me, so i'm going to suck it up &attempt to have a nice time with my mother. we never do anything together, anyway.
december...december...make your way to meeee.
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| 48. |
[14 Sep 2005|04:45pm] |
tree shadow, park bench shadow, garbage can shadow, fire hydrant shadow, grass shadow, sidewalk shadow, bird shadow, cowboy shadow, bbq shadow, hackey sack shadow, bicycle shadow, rollerblade shadow, cigarette shadow, bakersmark shadow, diving board shadow, marajuana shadow, hot lesbo action shadow, hard on shadow, cold pain shadow, ecstacy shadow, lsd shadow, florida shadow, heroine shadow, ceo shadow, bbc shadow, world trade center shadow, camera shadow, newspaper shadow, airplane shadow, george w. shadow, dick cheney shadow, rumsfeld shadow, ascroft shadow, lungfish shadow, sunset shadow, cough drop shadow, atm shadow, gas station shadow, dollar bill shadow, finger bang shadow, homeland shadow, cute puppy shadow, cartoon frog shadow, tommy lee's shadow, burrito shadow, thai food shadow, notebook shadow, SHADOW GOVERNMENT.
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| 47. |
[08 Sep 2005|11:43pm] |
i envy those of you who have the ability to simply not care. godbless you.
senior year...is a joke.
along with everything that i'm doing with my life as of right now.
this year needs to be over, fast. as sickening as this is to say, i think i prefer last year over this year. granted school has yet to even really start, i have a vibe that it's just going to suck with boredom &outside of school is just going to suck, period.
optimism, where are you?
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quiet_____siege's journal